Monday, April 11

Election Comedy Proposal

Gosh ... just looked back at how many posts there have been in the past few days - I'm posting faster than an anti-philanthropist at Christmas!

Anyway, I have been wondering about having a go at some comedy sketch writing, and I thought I would air the following idea for the general enjoyment of people. Also, if a BBC Producer happened to be passing by and decided to snap up my services with immediate effect, that would be nice ... Although highly unlikely ...

'Election Day' is actually an idea for a sketch involving the Little Britain characters Lou and Andy. (So if Matt Lucas & David Walliams happened to be passing and liked it, then please do get in touch!) For everyone else, if you know the show, please just imagine Lou and Andy's voices as you read the lines ... If you've never seen "Little Britain" before, or don't find it at all funny, then this will probably be completely lost on you!

Little Britain "Election Day" sketch (proposal)

*PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY APPARENT CORRELATION BETWEEN THE POLITICAL PARTIES MENTIONED IN THIS SKETCH AND REAL POLITICAL PARTIES ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND PEOPLE SHOULD NOT INFER NOR BE ENCOURAGED TO CHANGE THEIR VOTE AS A RESULT. THE SKETCH IS DEVISED PURELY FOR THE PURPOSES OF ENTERTAINMENT.*

(Scene opens in a Polling station. Lou & Andy are in the polling booth)

Lou: Well, here we are Andy ... What a kafuffle getting you down here - all thanks to the nice man from the Save the Squirrels party. Time to exercise your democratic right. So who are you going to vote for?

Andy: (whilst not looking, points to a name on the Ballot paper) That one!

Lou: That one?

Andy: Yeah!

Lou: But that's the Independent Britain Party

Andy: Yeah I know

Lou: But I don't think they have any real chance of winning any seats, I think that would be a silly waste of your vote, won't it?

Andy: Yeah I know

Lou: So who's it to be then? What about the Red party, you always liked the Red party ...

Andy: (Again points without looking) That one

Lou: But you don't like the Independent Britain Party. You always said that they represent the lighter shade of respectable middle-class xenophobia.

Andy: Yeah I know

Lou: What about the Yellow party?

Andy: (pointing) That one!

Lou: The blue party?

Andy: (firmly pointing but without looking) I want that one!

Lou: (shaking head in despair) Well it's your vote, Andy. Are you sure?

Andy: (nodding head) Yeah

Lou: 'Cos you know you can't change it once you 've voted?

Andy: Yeah, I want that one! (pointing again)

(They emerge from the booth and Andy places his ballot in the box. They leave the polling station)

Andy: I wanted to vote Monster Raving Loony party!

THE END

(C) Copyright Joe Byrne 2005 (11th April 2005 AD)

And now my brief foray into the world of comedy sketch writing comes to a swift and dramatic close. (I thought it best to end on a high) All that remains to be said is that whilst the characters Lou and Andy remain the intellectual property of those fine gentlemen Mr Matt Lucas and Mr David Walliams, this sketch is my own work, hence the (C)Copyright Joe Byrne 2005 ... and all that!

A very productive day in all, a good meeting at church this morning, a nice lunch, a superb afternoon of Monopoly (in which I scored a rare and stunning victory!) and watching the final episode of "The West Wing" Series 6 - An absolutely stunning piece of television drama filled with gripping suspense, intrigue and some great characterisation and empathy. Brilliant ... but more on that later.

I'm just going to sit by my phone and wait for the BBC to phone begging me to come work for them ... That is, until I realise that my phone mumber is not posted here and go to bed dejected and despondent.

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